"Cops use tattoos to identify wanted man"

I love this news article.  
It points out two very important life lessons:

1. Do not tattoo "several distinctive clown tattoos" on your arm if you are wanted for violation of parole on robbery charges in Pennsylvania.  OK--maybe in the chilly northern US you could get away with it in February--but not in the Keys. It's hot here criminals! You'll be in your sleeveless undershirt (or shirtless more likely, yuck). The police will see your identifying creepy clown tattoos and identify you. 
2. When cornered by the police--do not jump in the water.  Where are you going with that action? Cuba? You're not Diana Nyad.  

Examples of clown tattoos you should NOT put on your arm...if you want to remain "at large".



 You get the idea.



http://keysnews.com/node/72949

"Beer-drinking man with gun arrested"

Let me sum up the article for you:
Deputies were called to a residence in Key Largo because a man with a rifle and a handgun and a beer, had threatened construction workers in front of his house. 

I've noticed something. 
There is common thread to a lot of crime in the Keys.
BEER.  
People really like their BEER here. Take this frustrated homeowner--he just wanted to have a beer in silence. Do you think he could just drink his damn beer in some peace and quiet? NO. The rifle didn't scare off the noisy construction workers. Still too much racket to drink his BEER. The handgun sticking out of his waistband didn't stop the commotion. Think of the risk this poor BEER drinking man took--the loaded gun might have gone off while still in his pants. Then he wouldn't be able to drink his BEER (theoretically, I guess you could still drink a BEER without a penis--but I think that you must have a penis to have a BEER and a gun).





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