Thursday, December 10, 2015

"Two Arrested in Fish Case"

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This is the benefit of living where I live... I get incredible news on all FISH crimes... Suck it Chicago... not getting this news there. 

This article reports that at 6:30 p.m. the officers spied the suspicious fishermen and asked the perps FOUR times if they had illegal, UNDERSIZED, fish and the response was always the same... nope... NO UNDERSIZED snapper or grouper ... only grunts (which is OK BTW).  But these crafty officers weren't buying that fish story. 

The officers had a sixth sense. Something was just not right. Hence they proceeded to look under:
- numerous grunts in the cooler
- lots of ice in the cooler

Guess what they found at the bottom of the cooler?  One UNDERSIZED black grouper and two UNDERSIZED mangrove snappers.Did the officers stop looking once they caught this bounty? NO. These dedicated officers kept going... and what did they happen to find wrapped in a plastic bag, hidden underneath fishing gear, behind the cooler??? One UNDERSIZED  mutton snapper...My God. 

I feel safer already. 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Report: Man hid marijuana in buttocks

The report says that the officers found a plastic bag containing marijuana "hidden in the crack of his buttocks."

I think that is was presumptuous on the part of the arresting officer to assume that he was concealing this bag of marijuana. Maybe - that is just where he keeps it... hands free and moist.  He could possibly carry lots of stuff keys, money, or even his cell phone...not hiding... transporting!   

 Don't get me wrong... I'm all for arresting this guy...especially since he was listed as a "violent offender with special conditions."  Although, I am confused about what possible "special conditions"  a violent offender could have?  Does he dance the jig? It is possible with extra butt cargo, he might walk with a spring in his step.  Does he have a facial tic? Probably only when sitting. Can he have heightened sense of taste? Most likely not... especially if he smoked his recently toted marijuana. 

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That'll chafe for sure.

This just in... Hialeah Man Caught with Undersized Snapper

This Islamorada man was caught in possession of:

 - undersized Yellowtail Snapper
- undersized Mangrove Snapper
- undersized Schoolmaster Snapper

This guy went to jail. Unfair.'s the deal... these are undersized teenager Snappers. 

 You know who is really at fault here? The Snapper's parents.  They were probably like, "we wash our fins of these hooligans, they never listen, always want the easy way out...eating the worm dangling in front of them instead of searching for their own food like we taught them..."

Give a fish a worm... he can eat for a day. 
Teach a fish to catch his own worm... he doesn't end up in the cooler on the boat.

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