Wednesday, May 27, 2015

"Woman arrested for knife threats"

In Big Pine Key, a complaint was made that a 55 year old landlady threatened a man, his girlfriend, and their two small children.  According to the report, Mary W, living on Avenue B,  burst into the tenants' room while they were watching TV. Wielding a butcher knife,  Mary promised to decapitate the man and his baby.  Why?  Well, she thought they were stealing her.................


I would have thought she would have gone directly to the police to report the theft, but apparently she decided to cut to the chase, take matters in her own hands, and where the chips fall, there let them lie.

The good news is that when the police showed up at the house, Mary W reported to the officers that there were no more drugs in the house....she had just smoked the last of her marijuana.   She admitted to making the threats, but denied making them with a knife....however the girlfriend and the 7 year old confirmed Mary W's  promise of decapitation.

If only the 3 month old baby could have spoken up too...
Not Mary W...

Thursday, May 14, 2015

"Video shows grouper eating lionfish"


Is this big news?

A fish eats another fish?  Honestly? I'm not impressed.

How about if a grouper ate a lion? Now that would be interesting.

" Police Discover Phallic pot Pipe"

While checking out a local pizza parlor for drug activity, the police found a penis-shaped pipe that was "still warm" in the store's garbage can.

(Let's just hope that the pipe was "still warm" from smoking marijuana.)

The police interrogated a person standing nearby who said that he didn't see anyone smoking pot...  the subject also added that he wasn't sure about that ...because he was drunk.

The final sentence of the article addresses the question on everyone's mind..."The report gave no mention as to the size of the pipe."

Can't get the whole article  online - have to buy the edition.  I told you all of the good stuff anyway.



Monday, May 11, 2015

Shocking! Adult entertainment club accused of FRAUD!

Well, knock me over with a feather... a fraudulent transaction taking place at an adult entertainment club.  They are usually so reputable.

I love the fact that this guy reported the credit card fraud to the police...who consequently reported
to the newspaper.   Now everyone in the world (and in New York, his home state) knows that Michael T. was ripped off when he was overcharged  $1500 while ordering up  "fetishes".

 He acknowledged that employees were coming in and out of the room to get his authorization and that he gave them his debit AND credit cards... however the ONE $1500 charge was fraudulent. All of the other charges (how many? we don't know... probably lots of fetish possibilities)  were authorized - so that is good.

 He might not have a case though. Maybe the fetish he ordered was " fun with credit/debit card fraud"...  The article doesn't say.

I'm sure that his family and friends are proud that he did the right thing and reported the wrong doing... quality guy.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Most definitely should be a Tripadvisor rating for this...

5- acre prison a Paradise for inmates

The article's title on it's own, brings incredible peace of mind. I, for one, am heartened by the fact that the inmates in the Florida Keys are enjoying their prison stay.  

Here are some of the best quotes:

 - "The entry gate, unguarded, sat open during a recent Wednesday morning. The Key deer grazed on the manicured front lawn. Meanwhile, a decorative manatee-zone buoy greeted visitors on the way into the homey looking administration building." Maybe Martha Stewart had hand  in the decorating.

- ' "It's a privilege to come down here, " said Lawrence W, 48, who is serving the last few weeks of a nine-year sentence for grand theft.'   Ahhhh...Such a welcome vacation! All of the other prisons were so dreary. 

- "...there's no double fence, and no guard tower manned with armed prison guards."   That would be soooo mean!

-  ' "This is a good place to spend your time. This is a blessed place. You're less stressed here. You're more relaxed." '   So happy that Robert G. is less stressed while serving 10 years for robbery! 

- an inmate added that he was "confident that he'll find employment in the Keys upon his release."   Yup, pretty sure that one (or more) of his fellow lodgers just finished roofing my house.    
OK - so this is not the prison now... but in the future?  We can only hope!
It's all here: