Monday, March 20, 2017

Does this sound weird to you?

At first look, I thought that these were just progressive women, you know, give the kids some privacy while they drink.
8b04376399d0d9ebf76825460a901561.jpg (400×400)

Upon reading the article, however, it is the WOMEN who are drinking--not the two year olds.
 So it's fine.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Woman bites husband during sex in Florida Keys

The "weapon" listed on the police report said "teeth".

All I'm saying is that she probably has really strong weaponry since she's a DENTAL HYGIENIST. 

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Very drunk UF student body president-elect arrested in Key West

So many presidential problems.

This president elect "Gator" pushed down parked motorcycles that didn't start when he sat on them. He didn't "recall coming down to Key West on spring break vacation."
He won the student body presidency representing 52,000 students on the tagline, "Character that Counts." OOPSIE.

Here's how the conversation went with his MOM:

- Hi Mom
- Hi Honey - how are you- why are you calling me? On the phone...with your voice? What's wrong?
-Uhhh - I'm kinda in the Stock Island Detention Center.
-What are you talking about? What is a Stock Island?
-I got arrested in Key West.
-KEY WEST????? What are you doing in Key West?
-I donno. Can't remember.
-What???? .................Okay.... deep breaths,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, calm yourself.........
-I am calm,
-I'm talking to myself...your father is going to be apoplectic.
-UGGGGGGH - why are we paying for this high priced education when you can't even speak English-- your father is going to be PISSED OFF.
-I'm your mother-not a DUDE. What is the school going to say about this? What about your presidency?
-I ran unopposed - they gotta have someone.
-So that someone is in the drunk tank? That's where the bar is? to speak.
-I need $328.00.
- I need a cashier's check sent here
- silence
- today--or I can't get out of jail
- silence
-Okay, Okay... promise me you're never going to Key West ever again.
- I promise
- Let me talk to the person in charge
- Okay...........................................Dude my Mom wants to talk to you. SHUT UP.  I'm not a momma's boy. I'm an ADULT. I can take care of myself. Asshole.........................Okay...Mom...Officer Galbo is on the phone

Not saying how I know the conversation went like that.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Man arrested after defecating at golf course

I wonder if he did number two on hole number one? Article didn't say. 

When asked why he was pooping on the golf course, the suspect said laughingly, "I was in the woods."

So, I guess the answer is the "does the ____ poop in the woods?"  question.  

He has a nice prison potty now--so that is a happy ending.