Key West police called to rescue woman stuck in tree

Honestly,

you'd think a LOCAL woman would know how to extract herself from a banyan tree--it's like Key West Education 101.






ttp://www.local10.com/news/weird-news/key-west-police-called-to-rescue-woman-stuck-in-tree
https://www.facebook.com/106027526095494/photos/a.106045789427001.8540.106027526095494/1160419253989644/?type=3&theater

FBI arrests Key West bank robbery suspect, stick-up was in January

After five months of a high speed chase--the FBI nabbed him.

This is the guy who robbed a bank and got away on his BICYCLE. 

Nabbed another BAD FISH PERP

Whew.
Glad we got this BAD dude.

 He was charged with SEVEN misdemeanor counts:
- possession of 15 over-the-limit hogfish (that is really over-the-top)
- possession of 6 undersized hogfish (show some compassion)
- possession of 2 undersized red grouper (sick bastard)
- possession of 2 out-of-season red grouper (too busy to check the calendar?)
- possession of 2 over-the-limit red grouper (make it stop)
- possession of 1 wrung lobster tail on the water (can't wait to wring the tail OUT of the water? what an ass.)
- interference with FWC officer (rude)

The bail was $8000. 
 Shouldn't it be more?
 Heck the guy who shot another guy got out on $50,000 bail.
 Time to PRIORITIZE.




http://www.thehulltruth.com/florida-georgia/753041-hogfish-poacher-nabbed.html#b
http://i.istockimg.com/file_thumbview_approve/5199448/6/stock-illustration-5199448-scared-fish-.jpg

Man with Half a Beard Arrested in Florida

I don't think that this should be a crime-- sure it looks terrible--but is it arrest worthy? I think not.

How to prevent crime in the Keys

I don't know if this is how crime prevention is done elsewhere...

... but in the Keys if someone's dog is consistently crapping on your yard AFTER you put up very cute and nice reminders for them to pick up after their dog--then it is OK to put this on your yard:

Can anyone possibly guess who might have constructed these crime prevention posters?

"Cops use tattoos to identify wanted man"

I love this news article.  
It points out two very important life lessons:

1. Do not tattoo "several distinctive clown tattoos" on your arm if you are wanted for violation of parole on robbery charges in Pennsylvania.  OK--maybe in the chilly northern US you could get away with it in February--but not in the Keys. It's hot here criminals! You'll be in your sleeveless undershirt (or shirtless more likely, yuck). The police will see your identifying creepy clown tattoos and identify you. 
2. When cornered by the police--do not jump in the water.  Where are you going with that action? Cuba? You're not Diana Nyad.  

Examples of clown tattoos you should NOT put on your arm...if you want to remain "at large".



 You get the idea.



http://keysnews.com/node/72949