Pinched in their prime --so many lost souls. |
Nothing gripes my bottom like a poacher pincher. This father and son outing ended poorly.
- 586 first-degree misdemeanor counts - possession of out-of-seasonn lobster and wrung tails
- 2 third degree felony counts - possession of more than 100 undersized lobsters
- 14 second degree misdemeanor counts - possession of speared lobster out-of-season, stone crab, undersized stone crab and reef fish not landed in whole condition
- unscheduled outing to the Monroe County Detention Center
I can just imagine the phone call to the mother after the arrest. Probably something like:
Son: "Hi Mom."
Mom: "Hi Honey, how's the Dad bonding fishing trip going?"
Son: "Not so good."
Mom: "What's wrong?"
Son: "Well...we're bonding alright. More like bail bonding."
Mom: "What are you talking about? What did you do? Where's your father?"
Son: "He's here. Uhhh, Dad...Mom wants to talk to you."
Muffled male voice that sounds something like,"Ahhhhh. I don't want to talk to her."
Son: "Here's Dad."
Silence
Dad: "Hi Sweetie."
Mom: "I don't think you should be sweetying me right now. What is going on? Where are you?"
Dad: "I'll explain everything when I get home, but right now I need you to move some cash out of our 401K to the regular checking account."
Mom: "What? Why?"
Dad: "We need to get out of jail. Apparently it's illegal to spear undersized, out-of-season, lobsters. It's also unfortunate that we decided to pinch their heads off while still on the boat--also against the law. I believe that some of them were berried."
Mom: "Lobsters? Berried? What does that mean?"
Dad: "Pregnant"
Mom: "My God. You beasts. How many lobsters did you kill?"
Silence
Dad: "Better sell some of the mutual funds too."
https://keysnews.com/article/story/men-pinched-for-poaching-lobsters/
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/florida-keys/article160542454.html
It's sad to hear about the head pinching, but is that better than grabbing the privates of the male lobsters? Though that may have been more poetic. Especially if there was a peck of them.
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