Sunday, June 21, 2015

"Man masturbates while driving on Duval Street"

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Hand free is dangerous also.

Let's think about how, possibly, Jeffrey S. started his day...

He woke up early, made himself a strong cup of coffee and thought to himself, "What should I do today? I'm 67 years old. I cleaned the house and did all of the yard work yesterday. Hmmm maybe I'll  go for a drive in my grey minivan on this beautiful sunny day. What should I wear? Clothes? Nah... I like the way the torn up seat cushion feels on my buttocks. Where should I go? Well, I could just cruise up and down Duval past that good lookin' cosmetic sales woman.... YES... that is what I'll do! But what should I do with my hand that is not on the steering wheel while driving to and fro?  Hmmm...not sure... looks like I'll have to make a game time decision."

At the end of the day, Jeffrey S felt bad about his decision that resulted in charges of, "indecent exposure and a sex offense for an unnatural and lascivious act".

He admitted to the officer that, "he knows what he did was wrong", but that, "he enjoys the thrill and does it quite frequently while on roads and highways" (obviously not following the 10:00 -2:00, hands on the wheel rule).

All's well that ends well... Jeffrey S. has agreed to write an apology note to the cosmetic sales woman. I'm sure that she will be thrilled to have additional contact from him.

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To be turned in to the warden at the end of the day...

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